April 13, 2018
Today is the day that I could have been a mom. It was my projected due date. I’ve watched so many become parents for the second, third, fourth time since then. It’s a hard day. It’s hard to share these thoughts, but I feel compelled to. This is what I put in my journal MONTHS ago. If I’m not meant to be a mother, what am I meant for? That is the big question I have right now. Maybe I will find an answer. Only God knows. It’s the ONE thing I ever thought I’d be good at. Being a Mom. Now what, God? What am I to be? I haven’t blogged about this, or really even talked about it that much. I don’t know that I even have the words still. Back in May my birthday fell on Mother’s Day, which was tough. I had found out that my odds of having a baby were 1%. I wrote these words in my journal right after I found out about my fertility odds. I blogged about it here: http://citywifeinacountrylife.blogspot.com/2017/05/birthday.html I can’t describe how m...